Commitment. Triathlon in Traverse City MI

DANG IT!!! I did it again. I committed to doing the Traverse City Triathlon then decided I wasn’t going to do it. Then, at the last minute, decided I was going to do it. This would be fine if I was talking about a commitment to mow the lawn, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or recycle every week. Not so much when the commitment is a triathlon. Yet, that’s what I did.

I am a pusher. I challenge people. I get them to do crap they normally wouldn’t do because…let’s face it…we’re all a bunch of insecure chickens at heart. We typically talk ourselves out of doing something long before we’ve even attempted to try it. I believe in you. I know you can do more (and yes, I mean you) than you do. Because I know this; I push. Soooooo…a year ago I talked my big brother into doing a triathlon with me. My friend runs Endurance Evolution and I decided I was going to do his tri that he hosts in August in Traverse City, MI. This well planned decision was made while drinking tequila. In a bar. On a whim. So, like any responsible little sister, I took my brother down with me. It’s worth mentioning that, while I live in Traverse City, my brother lives in Houston, TX.

My brother showed up and we did the tri–no injuries or drownings for either of us though I nearly came out of the water DFL (Dead Freaking Last) as I loathe swimming. Oh, and I didn’t train for the event. It was shortly after completing the triathlon that I decided we should do it again this year only THIS time I was going to train. I wanted to COMPETE. I was going to train this time. I was going to see a swim coach and I was going to work on speeding up my transitions. I was going to DOMINATE in 2012. In reflection, I’m fairly certain endorphins were still cranking but what do I know?

Until, somewhere along the lines, I decided I wasn’t going to do the race.

Until, 7 days ago, I decided I was going to do the 2012 triathlon. Which is tomorrow. 8 days after deciding I was going to go for it. Yeah…that’s how I roll.

I’ve swam 3 times and ridden my bike twice in the past 7 days. This is the first time I’ve touched my bike or swam SINCE LAST YEAR’S TRIATHLON. I’ve not run since I hobbled my way through a half marathon during the Bayshore Marathon event in May. Ummm, yeah. I also should mention I talked my brother into doing that with me, too. And we were both injured and ran 4 miles then walked the remaining 9. What. The. Hell.

Am I nervous? Yep. Pretty much freaking out. But, I know I’m not going to die–I’ve done this before. My swim will not be pretty but I’ll manage it. I’ll push through the other two events and probably make up some time from my less-than-competitive swimming but hey…a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

Why am I doing this? Cuz I promised my brother I would. And cuz of those two amazing little monkeys in the photo above. My big kid (then 6) was scared to death I wasn’t going to survive the swim. He was BEAMING when I came out of the water. Hearing them both cheer for their mommy–the pride and enthusiasm booming loudly in their tiny high-pitched voices, the joy on their faces when I crossed the finish line, and having them ask me all the details are memories I will cherish a lifetime. I don’t have it in me to tell them that I quit on myself before I even started. I couldn’t look at their faces and explain that their Uncle was going to compete in the same event their mommy did but that I pulled myself out of the game before I even gave myself a chance to play.

I sit here at my keyboard wired for sound. I’m scared. I’m nervous. My stomach rolls at the thought of getting into the water. I probably won’t sleep much tonight.

But I’m doing the tri. I’m going to do my best…and forget the rest. I’m going to show my kids that their mommy (while crazy) is not a quitter and keeps her word. Cuz at the end of every day–their opinion of me and belief in me outweighs anything I can say to myself.