Getting healthy can stress you out. You might be reading that and shaking your head wondering, “What is she talking about? Getting healthy is wonderful!” but hear me out. When you’re in a committed relationship and you are not healthy (addiction, obesity, low self-esteem, or many possibilities) there’s a certain level of comfort. When one of the partners makes the decision to get healthy the comfort level is seriously altered. For the purposes of this blog, let’s call the partner that is making positive changes in their life the “healthy” partner and the healthy partner is on their journey for weight loss but this could play out in many ways–they could be eliminating alcohol, walking away from gambling or drugs, committing to getting therapy, or more.
Relationships have a balance in them. They’re like a teeter totter on
Imagine my shock when one day I woke up depressed. In case you didn’t know, I am a superhero in my own mind. I often claim I own a pair of tights and a cape–even though I’ve usually misplaced them. Hence my complete confusion when I was sitting in my living room on a Sunday night and realized I’m deeply depressed. My surprise comes from the fact that I had no idea. I was truly shocked. I’m a mom of two amazing kids, in a wonderful relationship with a man so perfect for me that I regularly pinch myself, I have a wonderful business as a Beachbody Coach, have over 15-years in my profession, have a collegiate degree in my profession from Michigan State University , and sit as President of a Board of professionals in my area. My life, overall, ROCKS.
What the heck is depressed?!?
I really just thought I was stressed out. I figured my oh-so-crazy life was just taking over and I needed to suck it up and push through. But, as the days went on, much was left undone but depression never occurred to me.
Regret can be a beast. It can consume a person. “If only. ” Think about it–our athletes, politicians, employers, employees, teachers, police officers, first responders, parents, siblings, children, friends and more–all have had moments they wish they had a “do over.” Even the Star Wars Storm Trooper probably had a moment of reflection mixed with regret. And, heck, they aren’t even human! My point? We all generally do the very best we can with the knowledge we have at the moment. That said, what do we do with those moments that beckon; if only?
If only…if only I had been a better student in high school. If only I had focused and created better study habits. What would my professional career had been. If only….
If only…if only I had tried harder in sports. If only I had treated practice more as preparation for the big game day than an excuse to fluff off. If only I had shown up to each practice and given it everything I had instead of being bitter cuz I was benched during last week’s game. If only…
If only I had dated better in high school and/or college. If only I had taken the time to truly interview the person who was applying for the role of my partner. If only I had taken the time to truly scrutinize and determine what qualifications my partner NEEDED to have prior to allowing them full access to my life. To my heart. To my future. If only…
If only…I had applied myself more at my last job. If I’d have shown up on time, worked a full day, not gossiped, and paid attention to the training I received I might have been able to keep the job. If only…
“If only” moments happen to all of us in one form or another. I imagine when American rapper, song writer, and producer Eminem takes the stage, when Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo takes a field, when U.S. President Obama takes the podium, when US Olympian swimmer Michael Phelps takes the water, when fire fighters don their gear in the middle of a night and unite at a blaze, when police officers respond to a domestic dispute at a home and children are present….I imagine they all have their best plan in place. They all have their best game face on. And, I hazard a guess: when they’re done, they all have their own level of regret. Their own level of “if only.” The point is that life is NOT perfect. It is incredibly messy. It is haphazard and we’re often thrown into the position of choosing the blue pill/red pill much like in the movie Matrix where we’re presented with an impossible choice and expected to make the right choice the first time around.
At the beginning and end of any day, life is meant to be messy. Life is meant to be lived. It is meant to be riddled with mistakes, errors, and moments where participants scratch their head in wonder of, “Why did I do that?!?!?” Life is not meant to be perfect. It’s meant to be colorful. It’s meant to be emotional. It’s meant to be unique. MOST OF ALL…LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED. Not existed. Not tolerated. LIVED. Go out there and grab what you want with the passion a child clutches a recently found but formerly lost favorite stuffed animal. Life is meant to be LIVED. So…to hell with the “if only” and embrace the concept, “I’m gonna try…”
Instead of being paralyzed by, “if only” be enabled and freed by “I tried.”Spending our time and energy trying to think inside the box, trying to be what the world thinks we should, trying to take our own personal dreams and goals and forcing them into the back seat cuz they may offend someone is just downright silly. In the words of Eminem in his song Lose Yourself (explicit);
“You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime.”
My point? LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED. Go out and mess it all up. Go out and do it perfectly. Whatever. JUST GO LIVE IT!!! My Great-Aunt lived to about 93 years of age–and did so without regret. Does that mean she didn’t royally jack some stuff up? HECK NO!!! Her mistakes topped the charts for some. She was an amazing woman that I loved, honored, respected and emulated. And (holy cats) she was human. She made so many “mistakes” in her life but, at the end of her life, she was satisfied. She didn’t bemoan what didn’t work–she celebrated what DID. That is my wish for you.
Often, at the end of any day, we focus on the risks we didn’t take. The chances we passed over. Allow me to hand you a hall pass to life wherein you just go after it and live you life to its fullest–to the utter dismay and undulated joy of those around you. Think about it–you’re living you life for you. GO LIVE IT.
My ego kills me every time. And, the kicker of it is I used to think I didn’t have an ego to battle. I mean, not really. I figured since I wasn’t an ego maniac that meant that I didn’t have the troubles that many did. WRONG. Then, with some pushing from my Beachbody peeps, I attended a Dani Johnson event and my ego
People often look at successful people and think they live a blessed life, lucked into success, or that success was given to them. It’s easy to look at a financially fit person and determine they came from money. It’s common to look at a physically fit person and determine it’s their genes that make them that way. Without knowing better, we can look at a successful marriage and say they don’t have the troubles that we have communicating.
Man I woke up grumpy and this is tough for me right now. I’m brand new into Body Beast (a weight training program that is designed to add mass~READ: very little cardio~ and I use cardio to work through my emotions) and I needed an attitude adjustment. BIG TIME. With no cardio to turn to and left to doing Body Beast: Legs; I was skeptical at best.
Turns out…it worked!!!! I was a sweaty mess and was sooooooo focused on my form and lifting heavy that it allowed the stress to go find someone else to bug (sorry if it was you) and I finished feeling energized and ready to take on my week. What a wonderful surprise! The Legs workout pushed me and pushed me hard. It got me to lift heavy. That said, PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR FORM. It’s easy to lift too much with bad form and injure yourself (very bad). If needed, go lighter on your first round of Legs to make sure your form is perfect.
My nutrition? Yeah…struggling like I thought I would. That’s a whole lot of food to eat (approximately 3,000 calories) in a day and I’m a lifelong meal skipper. YOWZA. What a challenge!!! I’m at least feeling hungry–so I got that going for me. Normally, I don’t feel hungry. No…I’m not super human…I’ve taught my body how to starve itself :/ Firing up my metabolism will help me much.
My takeaway as I spent time weaving through my grumpiness…count my blessings. Were there things wrong in my life? Yep. Absolutely. But there were also things that were amazingly wonderful, too. If I allow the crap to pile up on top of what’s good–I’m losing out. So, I force myself to pull the blessings up and out–put them at the top of my list of things to be thankful for–and smile.
Oh–and there is no estrogen in this program. Anywhere. Period. It’s a bunch of men BEASTING UP. It’s totally odd–and I love it. I don’t stare at the TV in awe of the perfect Barbie Doll figures and compare myself in an unhealthy way. I merely try to mirror their form and do my best to UNLEASH IT!
That’s about it. Hit me up. Subscribe to me. Follow me. Shout out that you’re watching. Toss a question at me…let me know you’re there 🙂
