If Only

Regret can be a beast. It can consume a person. “If only. ” Think about it–our athletes, politicians, employers, employees, teachers, police officers, first responders, parents, siblings, children, friends and more–all have had moments they wish they had a “do over.” Even the Star Wars Storm Trooper probably had a moment of reflection mixed with regret. And, heck, they aren’t even human! My point? We all generally do the very best we can with the knowledge we have at the moment. That said, what do we do with those moments that beckon; if only?

If only…if only I had been a better student in high school. If only I had focused and created better study habits. What would my professional career had been. If only….

If only…if only I had tried harder in sports. If only I had treated practice more as preparation for the big game day than an excuse to fluff off. If only I had shown up to each practice and given it everything I had instead of being bitter cuz I was benched during last week’s game. If only…

If only I had dated better in high school and/or college. If only I had taken the time to truly interview the person who was applying for the role of my partner. If only I had taken the time to truly scrutinize and determine what qualifications my partner NEEDED to have prior to allowing them full access to my life. To my heart. To my future. If only…

If only…I had applied myself more at my last job. If I’d have shown up on time, worked a full day, not gossiped, and paid attention to the training I received I might have been able to keep the job. If only…

“If only” moments happen to all of us in one form or another. I imagine when American rapper, song writer, and producer Eminem takes the stage, when Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo takes a field, when U.S. President Obama takes the podium, when US Olympian swimmer Michael Phelps takes the water, when fire fighters don their gear in the middle of a night and unite at a blaze, when police officers respond to a domestic dispute at a home and children are present….I imagine they all have their best plan in place. They all have their best game face on. And, I hazard a guess: when they’re done, they all have their own level of regret. Their own level of “if only.” The point is that life is NOT perfect. It is incredibly messy. It is haphazard and we’re often thrown into the position of choosing the blue pill/red pill much like in the movie Matrix where we’re presented with an impossible choice and expected to make the right choice the first time around.

At the beginning and end of any day, life is meant to be messy. Life is meant to be lived. It is meant to be riddled with mistakes, errors, and moments where participants scratch their head in wonder of, “Why did I do that?!?!?” Life is not meant to be perfect. It’s meant to be colorful. It’s meant to be emotional. It’s meant to be unique. MOST OF ALL…LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED. Not existed. Not tolerated. LIVED.   Go out there and grab what you want with the passion a child clutches a recently found but formerly lost favorite stuffed animal. Life is meant to be LIVED. So…to hell with the “if only” and embrace the concept, “I’m gonna try…”

Instead of being paralyzed by, “if only” be enabled and freed by “I tried.”Spending our time and energy trying to think inside the box, trying to be what the world thinks we should, trying to take our own personal dreams and goals and forcing them into the back seat cuz they may offend someone is just downright silly. In the words of Eminem in his song Lose Yourself (explicit);

“You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime.”

My point? LIFE IS MEANT TO BE LIVED. Go out and mess it all up. Go out and do it perfectly. Whatever. JUST GO LIVE IT!!! My Great-Aunt lived to about 93 years of age–and did so without regret. Does that mean she didn’t royally jack some stuff up? HECK NO!!! Her mistakes topped the charts for some. She was an amazing woman that I loved, honored, respected and emulated. And (holy cats) she was human. She made so many “mistakes” in her life but, at the end of her life, she was satisfied. She didn’t bemoan what didn’t work–she celebrated what DID.  That is my wish for you.

Often, at the end of any day, we focus on the risks we didn’t take. The chances we passed over. Allow me to hand you a hall pass to life wherein you just go after it and live you life to its fullest–to the utter dismay and undulated joy of those around you. Think about it–you’re living you life for you. GO LIVE IT.