Relationships are a big deal.

Relationships are important. With your kids. Friends. Coworkers. Loved ones. Family. Self. My relationship with others creates a self-perception (work with me on this one). People in my life view me a certain way–some see me as motivational. Some see me as positive. Others see me as random. Their perception of me is widely based on their exposure to me (facebook, real life, work, high school, etc.) and what I choose to allow them to see. So….they have a perception of me. I, in turn, have a perception of how I’m perceived. I try to see me the way you see me.

Left to my own devices, I’m pretty mean to myself. I’m very critical–always have been–and have spent the bulk of my life trying to make sure you like me. It was so important that you approved of me that I would pretzel myself to make sure that your perception of me was a positive one. I’d block my emotions, I’d hide my reality, I’d behave in ways that did not resonate as authentic because I wanted to have you in my life. Right now, I’m criticizing my writing style and the fact that I’ve flipped from present to past tense and stopped using “they” and started using “you.” Critical to the point that I stopped typing and focused on trying to correct it–taking precious time away. Anyhooooo…back to my point.

I’ve changed a lot. My relationships have changed all over the place the last few years. Heck, my life has changed all over the place the last few years. It has taken on a new identity–a rebirth. I find myself walking around in my new skin but still telling myself the same old stories. My mind still rolls tape on a life of old. Habits die hard, my friend. They die hard. They’re so woven into the fabric of our lives that to change a habit feels like you’re unwraveling yourself. Ever try to kick caffeine? Stop biting your nails? Start exercising regularly? Changing a habit or a routine pushes you way outside your comfort zone causing you to panic and think, “What in the heck am I doing?!?! I don’t belong here. I belong back where I was.” Our relationships with ourselves are probably the most important relationship we’ll ever have. How we love ourselves, lie to ourselves, encourage and disparage ourselves will resonate through our minds, hearts and eventually our behaviors.

From time to time, I find myself beating on the new me for crap the old me did; allowing who I was to define who I am. I catch myself talking to myself the way I used to talk to myself. I think we all do that to some level so I thought I’d put it out there to see if my ramblings resonate  with you–if I can hep you the way I need people to help me. When I find myself talking to myself in my old voice, I smile, breathe, and choose to change that voice into a kinder and more gentle one.

You probably know I am growing a business helping others get fit. I like the way I feel about the new me and go out of my way to help others find their own joy. I feed off helping people (it’s the people pleaser in me–she won’t go away so I’m giving her tasks to keep her busy and use her super powers for good instead of evil). Check out my transformation and those around me by visiting my website. We’ve all worked really hard to get where we are and the majority of us are still on our journey. We use programs like P90X, Brazil Butt Lift, Turbo Jam, Hip Hop Abs, P90X2, Insanity, Slim in 6 and more. I gotta tell ya, the physical transformation is sweet. I mean, look at those before and after pictures, right?!? ROCKSTAR results! Lemme tell ya…the physical transformation isn’t anything once compared to the emotional and mental journey. You might be a skinny person sitting a fat person’s body right now–but I hazard a guess there are a whole lot more fat people in a fit person’s body.

Changing your body is simple (note I didn’t say easy…). Those before and after pictures you see on Beacchbody commercials are real–they’re not edited or altered. You can go from fit to ripped in 90-days and there are programs that hold your hand and walk you through each day–what to eat, what not to eat, what to drink, when to workout, what workout to do–walk you through the whole shebang. But hang onto your hats kids, cuz that’s only part of the transformation. If you’re ready to shed the “old you” and if you’re ready to create your own “after” photo–I’d love to help. It’s gonna be tough, but it’s doable. And you are so worth it.