Friends.

The people that we individually selected and asked to join our lives because we believed our lives would be better if they were in them. Most friends make us better; some make us worse; and some make us great. My guess is that if you absolutely HAD to put a label on your friends/family you’d know who is an asset and who is not. The real challenge comes when you have to take action on those labels.

I have looked around my inner circle and I’m saddened by those that I’ve had to leave and for those that have left me and am grateful beyond measure for those that have entered and chosen to stay.

The latest game I play is to pay attention to myself when I’m engaging my friends. How do I behave when I’m with them? Do I like me? Those are the friends I gravitate to….the ones that I genuinely like who I am when I’m with them as they bring out the very best in me. I hope that I do the same for them and the love and adoration is mirrored.

I’m not a fan of “grandfathering” friends. I’m not a fan of hanging onto friendships just cuz you’ve been friends for so many years. I know, that might make you uncomfortable. But it’s how I see it. I have 24 hours in a day and I’d like to maximize on them and seek as much joy and growth as I can and this may mean that some people do not get a seat at my table in life. I’m okay with that. Of course there are times when relationships grow distant due to life situations and that’s not what I’m talking about here…I’m talking about the friendships that might make you feel inadequate and you hang onto those friendships because you think you “should.” In my opinion, those friendships not only erode your soul, but they also fill your calendar and sap your energy from those that might be able to love you and encourage you.

I also feel that relationships can be situational–and that this is not inherently a bad thing. We meet all kinds of people due to situations. Think about it. People you meet at work, people you go to school with, friends you find while dating someone, friends you discover at events…all of these are situations. There’s an ebb and flow, methinks. Many situational friends hold places near and dear in my heart and I’m thankful that I found them (or they found me). I love engaging people whether it be short-term or long-term. I truly get a kick out of getting to know people. You’ll hear me often state that people amaze and amuse me. People ROCK.

Now, relevant to fitness, who are your influencers? Who are the people that help you or hurt you most? You KNOW who I’m talking about. The people that inspire you to strap on your running shoes when you really (REALLY) want a nap. Supporters and people that inspire you should get top score on your list of people to spend time with. Conversely, let’s chat about the people that go home over the weekend and bake for 16 hours only to bring every piece of it into work cuz they “don’t eat that stuff.” Saboteurs are dangerous and you need to clearly identify who they are in your life so you can categorize them appropriately and avoid scheduling time with them.

Sit back and take inventory. Find out how your friends impact your life and adjust your calendar appropriately. It’s my experience that your life will be more rewarding and fulfilled if you can fill your calendar with people that bring out the best in you. Try it and let me know how it works for you.