Tag: Turbo Fire

Self Sabotage, Self Loathing & Stepping out of my own way

I’ve just recently learned to like myself. The cool thing is that, yes, you can learn to like yourself and stop hating yourself. Yes, you can push those ugly thoughts aside and find a way to look at yourself and actually smile. The bad news is that it requires a LOT of work. Determination. Perseverance. Oh…and a lot of support. I wouldn’t recommend going down that dark path without backup–some friends or resources that will light your path in front of you, hug you when you need it, and gently encourage you to keep going because you’re worth it.

I’ve spent years in therapy working on me and have invested

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Running in the Dark


The day started as they normally did; a restless night’s sleep followed by an early morning with the Things before taking them to school, but something was not as it should have been. It was pecking at the corner of my brain like a black crow on roadkill…cannibalizing my mind. I was pacing in my house like I was caged and knew that I had to workout to work through it further and get to the root of the angst-of-the-day. I kicked around which workout to do (either Turbo Fire or Insanity Asylum) but I didn’t think what was going to be long enough to help me work through it. I opted for a run.

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Self-Loathing…Self-Loving

We can be (and often are) our own worst critic. We have a way of finding fault in places where fault really doesn’t need to be found–yet we seek it out anyway. I can be incredibly critical of myself–pick myself apart into tiny little inadequate pieces. I do it to myself in lots of ways and am working on fixing that part of me.  Beachbody has done wonders for helping me through this.

Working out to programs like P90X, Turbo Fire, Insanity, and soon to be P90X2 help me realize what I’m capable of. What my potential is. That I can do more than I thought I could. Those programs help me keep my nutrition on track and give me great ideas of how to eat better–in turn helping me look and feel better. Shakeology has been a HUGE time saver for me and allows me to eat regularly and gives me confidence in knowing that at least SOMETHING that’s going in my body is going to be good for me today. It’s an easy way for me to fuel myself and also helps me make better food choices at meal times–keeping my waist line smaller.

Keeping my waistline smaller is important to me. It’s my nemesis. It’s where the critic throws a party and stomps all over my psyche–doing the most damage. I have been struggling with my self-image my entire life. I do not see me the way others do. Well, I am working on that and will say that again in past tense…I didn’t see myself the same way others saw me. I saw the layer of fat on my midsection every time I saw my stomach. This meant I had to look past the 4-pack (almost 6-pack) in my abs–but somehow I managed to overlook where I was successful and leap right to where I’m currently working.

It got to where I would be so mean to myself. I couldn’t put on a pair of pants, a shirt, a swim suit, without being harsh and critical. This did great damage to an already wounded spirit. I’m going to share a tip that worked for me in hopes it helps you. Here it is.

My exercise for you…find ONE thing you like about your body. ONE. Could be your eyes, your smile, your pinky toe…just one thing that you don’t criticize or find fault with.

Every time you look in a mirror or see yourself naked, think of your favorite attribute. Smile. Find peace and joy in that one part of your body you like.

As the critical voice creeps in and you start to pick apart your mid section, your thighs, your rear end…stop that voice and go back to the one thing you really like. Smile. Find peace.

When someone pays you a compliment, quiet that voice that instantly speaks of your least favorite part. Say thank you to the person that complimented you and think of the one attribute you enjoy. Smile. Find peace.

Repeat until it becomes more natural for you to smile when you think of yourself. Over time, gradually add a second, third, fourth, 100th, attribute.

Stop seeking a “perfect” body. Your view of perfect might be skewed and unattainable. Love your body where it is today and try to make it the healthiest body you can–but love it while you’re on your journey. What matters most is how you see yourself and that, my friend, is completely in your control. Own it.

Truth & Lies. Marriage & Divorce. Kids. Yeah………

The voices in my head were LOUD today. Deafening. And before you contact my local authorities, you should know that I love the voices in my head and have no intention of taking a pill to send ’em packing. They amuse. They educate. They resonate. They make me look at me in a way that brings about growth and change. They’re AWESOMESAUCE! Today they were begging for a run. Since my back is out and I can’t kick my own butt with my usual favs (Turbo Fire & Insanity Asylum), I obliged the voices with a run.

Going into it, I knew it was gonna be a long run (my voices and I needed to have a serious chat). As I began to find my stride, I felt a little relief. I had no idea why I was out there other than I knew the answers would come and, for right now, it was my job to juggle the questions. One of my fav songs of all time–running or not–is Till I Collapse–Eminem (explicit) . My feet are in a perfect rhythm for me. I’m pumping…I’m breathing…I’m angry. I’m not at my personal revelation yet, but I’m starting.

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Building Muscle to Burn Fat – “Bring it!” – P90X MC2 Upper Body X

Hey it’s Stacey.  I am gonna try to do, P90X MC2 Upper Body X.

It’s the One-on-One Workout and about an hour long. There are some props involved in this one. I do not know how successful I am going to be, but I want to give it my best. So we’ll see how it goes!

0:31 Start Workout P90X MC2 Upper Body X. Building Muscle to Burn Fat Bring it! P90X MC2 Upper Body X
1:09 Monologue

I chose to lift weights today because I know I am losing muscle mass because all I have done is cardio for-ever. I needed to add my strength back into the workout. I typically wear a “body-bug” which is on my arm. You have seen it if you have watched my videos or you know me in life:

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